– Are you avoiding me?
– No … why would you say that?
– Because you never returned my messages.
– I’ve been swamped.
– No seriously I’ve been busy. I’ve barely talked to my parents.
– You never talk to your parents.
– That’s not true.
– It’s not true.
– Actually ….
– Spit it out.
– I shouldn’t have to.
– What the hell is that supposed to mean?
– What the fuck do you think it means?
– You’re talking in circles ….
– Did I do something to piss you off?
– Or freak you out or something?
– What are you talking about?
– It has to be something.
– I’m totally in the dark right now as to what you’re talking about.
– That’s not my fault.
– Have you been drinking?
– Then what’s with the cryptic messages.
– I’m not being cryptic.
– Then spit it out already!
– I’m exasperated.
– Fucking hellll …
– About what?!
– About you!
– What did I do?
– You’re avoiding me.
– I am not avoiding you.
– I find that extremely hard to believe.
-Well it’s true.
– Where are you getting this from?
– I’m getting this from the fact that we saw each other almost everyday for six fucking months and now … now we barely talk.
– This is ridiculous!
– Was I a shitty friend? Was I boring? Did you not have the courage to kick me to the curb of your social life when I was actually around. Was I too clingy?
– Stop it.
– No! I want to know.
– You’re embarassing yourself.
– My whole life is a slideshow of embarrassing, cringe inducing moments. I can take care of myself.
– Are you done?
– Can we stop then?
– No. I want you to talk to me. Sorrrry wait let me rephrase that … because we used to talk a lot, remember, but we never really said anything, wouldn’t you say? I just want you to tell me the truth.
– There’s nothing to say.
– Really? After all the time we spent together; lunches, movies, meanders … after all that, don’t you have the decency to drop me a line? Fucking hell … you were my best friend. I thought you were at least … I thought you cared about me. I know not like that …for fucks sakes. Now I just think I was convenient.
– Listen …
– Like shit on the bottom of your shoe.
– I can’t help the way I feel.
– I know.
– So whaddya say?
– (long pause) Jesus. I’m sorry….
– I thought you were more clever then that.
– I didn’t realize…
– Well now you do … I just … I just miss you. I need a shoulder right now. An ear. Anything really…
– But if that’s too much effort for you…
– It’s not that.
– Then what is it?
– I’m going to sound like a bastard right now …
– Don’t get ahead of yourself.
– It’s just that … I haven’t really missed you.
– Figures. Most people don’t.