Fear has consumed me.
I’ve been devoured by its harried, desperate jaws.
Swallowing me whole.
Fear, anxiety, neuroses have broken every bone in my body and I am paralyzed.
Unable to hash it out.
Unable to plan it out without feeling tired.
Without feeling useless. Without feeling trite and alone.
I thought I had it right.
Head held high.
As the spring air kicked winter in the ass.
Whipping us into shape … ready for our big break!
But I … I … I …
I can’t finish a thought.
I put on a happy face.
I do the steps. But they’re never good enough.
I watch as my friends charge on with passion and pride.
I watch as they jettison off … to corners unknown.
I watch and I lay.
I sit and I stare.
And I watch as I lay under the awning of green that will never stray.
Waiting for … what? For you? For them?
Lets face it.
I am waiting.
Waiting for the clocks to turn back.
So I can try it again.
So we can laugh again. Talk again. Stroll again. Create again.