– When I say all I want to do is leave … call bullshit okay?
– You know perfectly well why.
-I probably do, but refresh my memory.
– Do you have to make everything so difficult?
– It’s best to hear it from the horse’s mouth.
-Is it now?
-Why do you want me to call bullshit?
-Because someone has to keep me in line. Someone has to remind me not to be a phony.
-You’re not a phony …
-I’m as phony as JD himself.
-You don’t pee in bottles…he did that right? Well at least you don’t live in New Hampshire. Look on the bright-side!
-Howard Hughes peed in bottles.
-Everyones full of shit, it’s what unites us under the banner of heaven. We’re all lying, lazy assholes looking for a little bit of love. So, it would be inherently hypocritical for someone-such as myself-who is also part of the human race, the last time I checked, to call bullshit on you. Because lets face it…
-For the love of gawd…
-I’m just making sure you understand the whole picture.
-I understand it just fine.
-I’m not sure you do.
-Just shut-up. Please. shut-up. I can’t…
-No. Sorry. I’m…dammit …
– Fine. If it makes you feel any better … bullshit!
– I just want people to realize that I’m not as ecstatic about the bottomless void that is otherwise known as tomorrow.
– So I’m to yell it when there’s plenty of peers and kin around so the point can be well made?
– Stop trivializing my neuroses.
– Neuroses are inherently trivial sweetheart.
– Stop making sense.
– Sorry lady, it’s in my contract to always be right.
– Is that right?
– Yup … if I were to make an illadvised piece of advice or do something without 110% conviction it would be a breach of contract.
– Well aren’t you swell.
– Swell, s’marvelous, s’wonderful …. take your pick.
– If I’m ever to meet someone who can’t make a Cole Porter … I’ll weep for their ineptitude.
– Ugh that’s not how it works!
– What?! How does it work then?
– I don’t want to have to explain myself again.
– You never explained yourself in the first place.
– So why must bullshit be called?
– I just can’t comprehend my immediate future and this makes me very upset. But I’m under the delusion that I have to remain perpetually caustic about the idea or else I’ll just be like everyone else. Scared.
-Valid. I’ll be able to commiserate in 12 months.
-It’ll be a blink.
-It’ll be a wink.
-No a blink… not a wink … that’s just stupid.
-How about a nod?
-How about you shut your trap.
-It’s just that when I say I want to get out of here…it’s a lie. Stemming from nothing more then a desire to run far away and let these dropped threads fray into oblivion. I don’t really want to leave at all. Why would I?
-Well…sunshine. Aren’t you just a treat.
-You know what I’m talking about.
-You know that we need to talk.
-Didn’t we do this already?
-There was no we….
-We don’t need to talk about anything.
-Why ruin this?
– If you can’t sum it up in one word it’s not worth the energy.
-I’ll send you a post-card…
-I’m going to miss you.
-That’s all I wanted to hear.
-I think you’ve got the hang of it.